Control Out of Control Couples

Conflict, Control, and Out of Control in Couples and Couple Therapy

PLEASE SEE THE LINK AT THE BOTTOM FOR THE CODE TO ENTER INTO THE MEETING.

We will take a 15 minute break around 10:30 and 2:30. We will break for everyone to grab their lunch at 12. Option one will be a 15 minute break to grab your food and continue on, having a working lunch. Option two will be to take a maximum of 45 minute break for lunch. We will discuss the day of the event.

Brief Description of Presentation:

Conflict, Control, and Out of Control in Couples and Couple Therapy addresses the continuum of assertion, aggression, and abuse between partners. The therapist is guided how to promote appropriate assertiveness and aggression while avoiding crossing the boundary of abuse. Conflict is intrinsic to most couples, but relative control vs. getting out of control varies greatly resulting in relationship health or dysfunction. The therapist is directed how to guide partners how to deal w/ anger and frustration- learning how to fight fairly and productively to prevent emotional abuse.

Course Syllabus:                        

                a) Purpose- Conflict, Control, and Out of Control in Couples and Couple Therapy addresses the continuum of assertion, aggression, and abuse between partners. The therapist is guided how to promote appropriate assertiveness and aggression while avoiding crossing the boundary of abuse. Conflict is intrinsic to most couples, but relative control vs. getting out of control varies greatly resulting in relationship health or dysfunction. The therapist is directed how to guide partners how to deal w/ anger and frustration- learning how to fight fairly and productively to prevent emotional abuse.

                b) Learning Objectives  

Participants will be able to name consequences to the reactive or ineffective bully.

Participants will be able to identify the three principles and behaviors of a continuum in conflict.

Participants will be able to identify the three stages of the cycle of domestic violence.

Participants will be able to name the attachment styles that can cause intimate partner aggression and violence.

Participants will be to identify eight origins of violent behavior.

Conflict, Control, and Out of Control in Couples and Couple Therapy- Outline

1: ASSERTION AND AGGRESSION IN COUPLES

2: ANGER IN RELATIONSHIPS

• ANGER VS. HOSTILITY

3: COUPLE THERAPY?

4: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE THERAPY

• SAFETY AND RISK REDUCTION
• STATIC AND DYNAMIC RISK FACTORS
• DIFFERENTIATION

5: ABUSE: BULLY-VICTIM DYNAMICS

• BULLY CHARACTERISTICS
• VICTIM CHARACTERISTICS

6: BOUNDARIES AND CONSEQUENCES

7: COUPLE COMPOSITIONS WITH AGGRESSION OR VIOLENCE

• ASSORTATIVE MATING

8: BEYOND BULLYING ABUSE

9: ATTACHMENT

• LOVE AND NOT LOVE

10: SOCIAL INFORMATION PROCESSING

• EMPATHIC ACCURACY

11: VERBAL FLUENCY

12: TYPES AND PATTERNS

• FAMILY, CULTURAL, AND GENDER MODELS
• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND HOMOSEXUAL COUPLES

13: ACCEPTANCE, PEERS, & EDUCATION

14: CYCLE OF TENSION – CYCLE OF VIOLENCE

• DISINHIBITION
• STRESSORS
• OTHER DEMOGRAPHIC CLUES

15: POWER AND CONTROL

16: SENSITIVITY & VIGILANCE - HYPERSENSITIVITY & HYPERVIGILANCE

• PARANOID PERSONALITY DISORDER SUBTYPES
• INJUSTICE

17: IMPOVERISED DIALOGICAL PROCESS

• NEGATIVE ASSUMPTIONS
• FANTASY AND REALITY

18: PARANOID PDO vs. NARCISSISTIC PDO vs. BORDERLINE PDO

19: PARANOID CHALLENGES TO COUPLE'S RELATIONSHIPS

• THERAPIST ISSUES
• COUPLE THERAPY WITH PARANOID PERSONALITY DISORDER
• THROWN OFF THE MOUNTAINTOP
• SELF-DISCLOSURE AS MODEL

20: TOO MUCH

• ALTERING THE GOAL

21: DISTRUST AS THE FOUNDATION TO THERAPY

• UNDEVELOPED VULNERABILITY
• BOUNDARY AND CONSEQUENCE

MANAGING SEPARATION

22: EXCEPTIONS AND EXCEPTIONAL

• IDENTIFICATION OF ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER
• FEATURES AND CRITERIA OF ASPDO
• ORIGINS OF ASPDO
• KUNLANGETA AND ARANKAN

23: ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER IN COUPLE THERAPY

• GAMES- NOT PERSONAL GROWTH
• COURT MANDATED

24: COUPLE THERAPY HIDES OR EXPOSES

• CONTRA-INDICATIONS FOR COUPLE THERAPY
• THE DANCING DOGS

25: IT DEPENDS

Conflict, Control, and Out of Control in Couples and Couple Therapy addresses the continuum of assertion, aggression, and abuse between partners. The therapist is guided how to promote appropriate assertiveness and aggression while avoiding crossing the boundary of abuse. Conflict is intrinsic to most couples, but relative control vs. getting out of control varies greatly resulting in relationship health or dysfunction. The therapist is directed how to guide partners how to deal w/ anger and frustration- learning how to fight fairly and productively to prevent emotional abuse.

The book discusses conceptual vs. practical distinctions between normal couple therapy and domestic violence therapy. Therapist boundaries and choices to engage or not in domestic violence therapy become functionally problematic when intimate partner violence is unanticipated but uncovered in sessions. The therapist will learn how to assess for, manage, and treat partners when emotional reactivity becomes emotional abuse- a focus of normal couple therapy; when verbal abuse predicts physical abuse; and when domestic violence is revealed.

The book discusses attachment, bullying dynamics, cultural models, social information processing, verbal fluency, empathy, peer, cultural, and gender models, same sex relationships, disinhibition, stressors, dialogical processing, hypersensitivity and hypervigilance, and characterological issues including paranoid and antisocial personality disorder affecting partners' conflict, control, and out of control issues. The therapist will learn to shift couple therapy strategies and goals when noting distinctions between reactive aggression, abuse, and instrumental aggression more characteristic of sociopathic partners. Beyond fundamentally altering treatment to avoid perpetuating abuse, the therapist must identify counter-indications for conducting couple therapy.

This is a 7 hour Continuing Education course to fulfill the California Board of Behavioral Sciences requirement for the 2021 renewal year and beyond. This is a required course for those who graduated prior to 2004, according to the BBS Laws and Regulations Manual.

CSJV CAMFT is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: CSJV CAMFT's July 18 CE Event

Time: Jul 18, 2020 07:45 AM Pacific Time (US and Canada)

Join Zoom Meeting

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Meeting ID: 622 969 4899

Password: RM718CE

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__________________________

RONALD MAH, PhD, LMFT, will be leading a training on Control Out of Control Couples. Ron has included the link to his book that he will be focusing the information from. His book entitled Conflict, Control, and Out of Control in Couples and Couple Therapy is available for all participants to read on his website, http://ronaldmah.com/conflict-control-cple.html. Ron highly encourages attendees to read the book as it will have more information than can be presented in the 7 hour course.

__________________________

Ronald Mah is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist.  Experiences include: author of “Difficult Behavior in Early Childhood,” 2006, “The One-Minute Temper Tantrum Solution” 2008, and “Getting Beyond Bullying and Exclusion, PreK-5, Empowering Children in Inclusive Classrooms,” 2009, Corwin Press and twenty e-books on therapy and couple therapy available at www.Smashwords.com; dvds on child development and behavior, community mental health, Severe Emotional Disturbance school programs, vocational and welfare-to-work programs, Head Start, supervising a high school mental health clinic, supervising therapists, private practice psychotherapy. Education experiences: 16 years in ECE, owner childcare center, elementary & secondary teaching credentials, college instructor, and the Board of Directors of the California Kindergarten Association.  Also previously on the Board of Directors of the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapist and presenter for CAMFT conferences and symposiums; and currently on the Eastbay Chapter of CAMFT as well as various CAMFT committees.

This training seeks to integrate the variety of experiences and insights from his multiple experiences, to activate the experiences and wisdom of participants for practical clinical application